So, had the "down reg" test this morning for the IVF cycle.
Quite frankly, I don't need a blood test to know my hormones are non-existent, my husband can tell you that... I have to ring tomorrow, so then I will know whether to start injecting on Thursday. Hurrah! (?)
When the injection pack arrived, my son and I opened it, and went through the contents. There were these two enormous needles, I mean we're talking two metal tubes, and my son said "Mummy, are those the injections"? I almost fainted! I now find out they're not for injecting, but for mixing or something, for the "late night injection" - whatever that is. But thank God they don't actually have to go into my body, that would have been a step too far. A "late night injection" sounds like the kind of thing to get me pregnant in the first place, huh!?
My lovely husband insists that he's "trying his best" but this is the point where I do wonder why I didn't at least try the "women seeking women" part of the dating website (Alex and I met online, 2003). A woman would get the whole hormone thing, the "I don't know why I'm crying but I can't stop" feeling, the "I want to kill you, but a hug would be nice too" bit. But as my husband is absolutely the love of my life, and I adore him, I guess I'm staying in the "Mars and Venus" trap, whilst we try and survive this bit of hormonal hell.
So, not sure what's ahead, but we'll ride this wave and see .... and HOPE!
Everything feels as if it's on hold. Life, vacations, work plans, home plans, wedding anniversary plans... Everything starts with "if I'm pregnant"...
Back in the real world though, when my son, Jak, woke up this morning in a deep haze, he whispered "Mummy?"
"Yes" I whispered back.
"What's red and smells of paint?" "
"I don't know, what is red and smells of paint"?
"Red paint", and he collapsed back under the covers in hysterics. Life's pretty wonderful sometimes, even when the joke's on you...!
To my husband, who is in London today, and thinks his wife has completely lost all sense of reality and emotional control- guilty as charged. Hang in there honey, it will get better.
My friend Sheila is coming over tonight. We'll drink tea (lots of strong tea for her, green tea for me to halt the caffeine intake), we'll munch a couple of secretive biscuits (she'll also raid the chocolate tin, and it would be rude to expect her to eat that alone, wouldn't it?), and she'll give me that woman's perspective. All will be better with the world.
I wish my sister-in-law, Gaby, lived close too. She is in Houston, Texas, my husband's birthplace. She is the most amazing woman, and I know a few tears, and big hug and a trip to the Nail Bar would put me back on my feet! I miss you, Gaby! I wish you were closer.
So, end of today's drugged rant. Loads of woman have been through this, and often, many times - I have friends who have tried IVF 6 or 7 times. That takes some serious dedication and commitment. All to have moments like my "red paint" one this morning.
Baby Briggs, you just get ready to come and join this family, we're waiting for you... and Jak has a whole load of new jokes to try out, just as good as the "red paint" one...
When the injection pack arrived, my son and I opened it, and went through the contents. There were these two enormous needles, I mean we're talking two metal tubes, and my son said "Mummy, are those the injections"? I almost fainted! I now find out they're not for injecting, but for mixing or something, for the "late night injection" - whatever that is. But thank God they don't actually have to go into my body, that would have been a step too far. A "late night injection" sounds like the kind of thing to get me pregnant in the first place, huh!?
My lovely husband insists that he's "trying his best" but this is the point where I do wonder why I didn't at least try the "women seeking women" part of the dating website (Alex and I met online, 2003). A woman would get the whole hormone thing, the "I don't know why I'm crying but I can't stop" feeling, the "I want to kill you, but a hug would be nice too" bit. But as my husband is absolutely the love of my life, and I adore him, I guess I'm staying in the "Mars and Venus" trap, whilst we try and survive this bit of hormonal hell.
So, not sure what's ahead, but we'll ride this wave and see .... and HOPE!
Everything feels as if it's on hold. Life, vacations, work plans, home plans, wedding anniversary plans... Everything starts with "if I'm pregnant"...
Back in the real world though, when my son, Jak, woke up this morning in a deep haze, he whispered "Mummy?"
"Yes" I whispered back.
"What's red and smells of paint?" "
"I don't know, what is red and smells of paint"?
"Red paint", and he collapsed back under the covers in hysterics. Life's pretty wonderful sometimes, even when the joke's on you...!
To my husband, who is in London today, and thinks his wife has completely lost all sense of reality and emotional control- guilty as charged. Hang in there honey, it will get better.
My friend Sheila is coming over tonight. We'll drink tea (lots of strong tea for her, green tea for me to halt the caffeine intake), we'll munch a couple of secretive biscuits (she'll also raid the chocolate tin, and it would be rude to expect her to eat that alone, wouldn't it?), and she'll give me that woman's perspective. All will be better with the world.
I wish my sister-in-law, Gaby, lived close too. She is in Houston, Texas, my husband's birthplace. She is the most amazing woman, and I know a few tears, and big hug and a trip to the Nail Bar would put me back on my feet! I miss you, Gaby! I wish you were closer.
So, end of today's drugged rant. Loads of woman have been through this, and often, many times - I have friends who have tried IVF 6 or 7 times. That takes some serious dedication and commitment. All to have moments like my "red paint" one this morning.
Baby Briggs, you just get ready to come and join this family, we're waiting for you... and Jak has a whole load of new jokes to try out, just as good as the "red paint" one...
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