My mum is having a hip replacement today - right now, actually.
My heart is all knotted up with the worry of it. In September last year, she was on a cruise with my father in Egypt. Her hip was a little sore, there seemed something not quite right. In the space of six months, she has virtually lost it's use altogether.
She moves by hanging on to furniture.
She looks so old, and it hurts to watch her flinching and catching her breath when a step hurts even more than usual. My Mum never complains. When you ask, she says "I'm fine". She's far from "fine".
She cried when it snowed a few weeks back, and she couldn't come sledging on the slopes with my son and I. My heart ached so much that day.
So today, they will give her an epidural, she will listen to headphone music to drown out the sound of the saw (I kid you not), and they will take out this ragged, worn thing that she used to fling me up onto when I was a baby and carry me round on, and give her a shiny new one.
The next few weeks will be painful, and her progress will probably be slow.
I try to look on the good side of it all. The pain will initially be intense, but within a few weeks, she'll be making great progress, we hope. The Spring is almost here. She'll be able to enjoy the summer. As I get fatter and slower with my pregnancy, she'll get faster and fitter!! I like that thought!
I just want to pick her up on a Saturday morning, and walk the dogs with her on a sunny day. I just want to take her for coffee, and not worry how close I can park to the cafe. I just want to go shopping with her at the weekend, and not care what time we get home.
I just want my Mum back.
13 comments:
Gosh, very poignant. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Let us know how she is doing.
The New Parent, thank you so much. I hope to update soon, just waiting to hear...
Those are great photos! Good luck to your mom on her surgery. My Grandma had her knee replaced, and after she recovered, she said it felt SO MUCH better. Is that you in the last photo? Look at how pretty you are!
Thanks for leaving me a comment on my 100 Things About Me post, now we are BBFs forever!! :)
I hope she is doing well. My thoughts are with you.
Best,
OTJ
elizabeth,
Thank you for your kind words, and encouragement. I just don't think of my Mum as being frail and "old". It's so hard! I love the picture of Mum with my son (the first one especially). They are such good friends, and share this weird sense of humour. Yes, that is me *blush* (thank you! This made my day!). It was only taken last May in Spain, when she didn't really even have a twinge. Glad we're now BBF's!! Thanks again...
oh, the joys
Thank you for your kind words. Today is turning into a loooooong day...!
that is so lovely. by the time i've read this, she is well on her way to recovery. what a beautiful relationship you have - one i've always longed for, in fact. peace and healing to you all.
Jen,
Thank you. I am assuming you don't have a great relationship with your mother... That makes me very sad. Good thing you're such a great Mum yourself (yes, I did read your latest post, and I still think that ;-))
What lovely emotion in this! I can feel your love for your Mum. You are both so fortunate. I hope her surgery and recovery go smoothly.
And congrats on your happy u/s results! What wonderful news!!
I will be sending good thoughts her way from Portland, Ore.
Wow, Rachel, your mom is beautiful. She looks so vibrant! And yes, Rachel, you are gorgeous!
It's great to have that relationship with your mom. My mom passed last year, so I'm a little sad - but I'm happy for you - she's there with you! As the new parent said, keep us updated...
Until you put that picture up I was the only one who was privy to the fact that you are gorgeous. Now the secret is out, life will get even more difficult for me!
Your husband loves you very much
Julie - thanks so much.
sometimes living close to my Mum means I don't always realise how close we are. Your comments meant a lot, thank you.
THanks for the comment about the U/S too. Bit of bleeding at the moment (very minor) so praying all is still well.
Wacky Mommy - thank you! My husband was on secondment for a year in Portland, we spent a month there in 2004, and loved it. Lucky you!
KWiz - sorry you lost your Mom last year. I cannot imagine that pain. Thank you for your kind words, you made me *blush* again!
Hubby - flattery will get you everywhere...
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